W is for What Women Want
by Jelsemium
Summary: After Amita receives a job offer from Harvard, she has to decide what her next step is. Set after Undercurrents in Season Two and written before Season Three. And yes, for the 2006 Alphabet Fiction Challenge at Numb3rs dot org.


W is for What Women Want

By Jelsemium

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. I am not trying to make a profit. I wrote this story to while away the time between Season Two and Season Three. It's based, obviously, on the ending of "Undercurrents" and is basically AU after the events of Season Three.

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Mr. Eppes seemed genuinely pleased to see me. I hoped he wasn't just being polite. I liked Charlie's father, and his brother. And I liked Charlie. Well, I more than liked Charlie. And yet, I was planning to leave him.

Going to Harvard would be good for me, not just for my career, but to help me grow up and get a good perspective on my life. I needed to consider the offer calmly, logically. I needed to act like the rational scientist I am still trying to become.

I didn't feel calm. I didn't want to act rationally. However, the emotional side of me was torn between slapping Charlie silly and kissing Charlie silly.

At least the rational part of me had lined up a course of action. I had to talk to him.

Mr. Eppes escorted me through the house and I could see Charlie in the backyard, sitting by the koi pond, with a bowl holding fish food by his side. I was relieved, because I had been afraid that he'd be in the garage working on P vs. NP. I hoped it would be easier to distract his attention from the koi.

I settled next to Charlie and watched him feed the koi for a few minutes before touching him gently on the shoulder.

He jumped like I'd stuck him with a pin.

"Sorry," I said.

Charlie looked at me, and then his eyes sprang back to the koi. "Amita," he said. He cleared his throat. "Um, hi… oh, geez, did we have an appointment?" he looked at his bare wrist and started to scramble to his feet.

I grabbed his forearm. "No, no. I just wanted to talk to you."

Charlie heaved a sigh. "Oh, I thought I'd zoned out… again." He said this with considerable displeasure at his own shortcomings. I wanted to hug him, but under the circumstances, that didn't seem appropriate.

"Am I interrupting something?" I asked tentatively.

"Um, no, I was just… ah…" he gestured vaguely at the koi pond, which got the fish all excited. He made an apologetic face at them and threw them another handful of food. "Silly fish," he muttered.

A little while ago, I might have said something snarky about him brooding. Under the circumstances, that didn't seem appropriate, either.

I still hadn't come up with anything to say to him, though. "I'm sorry" seemed lame. Besides, I wasn't _entirely_ sorry. I needed to get out from Charlie's shadow.

Not that I'd put it to him that way, not even at my most frustrated. It's not like he was trying to overshadow me or keep me back. It's just that when you're as smart as Charlie is, it's hard not to outshine the people around you.

And it's only human to take the path of least resistance and let the genius solve your problems for you. I had to stop doing that. I had to make my own contributions, even if they were only sparklers compared to Charlie's star.

That still didn't tell me what to say. 'I never meant to hurt you?' That made it sound like I'd been sleeping around. Even worse was the plaintive 'We can still be friends, can't we?' routine.

He took a deep breath and made another stab at conversation. "I was trying to figure out what to say to you."

"Ah, so I'm not the only one with that problem," I said.

That got a faint grin out of him.

"I couldn't even figure out where to go for advice," I added ruefully.

Charlie snorted, but I couldn't see his expression. I had taken up his idea of feeding the koi, so I wasn't looking at him directly.

"You're lucky," Charlie added. "I've been getting advice from all quarters."

"Oh, dear," I said.

"That's the polite way of putting it," Charlie sighed. "I've been getting advice from my father, my brother, Two FBI profilers…"

"You still hear from Terry?" I asked.

Charlie nodded. "And of course, Larry explained to me what it is women want."

I nodded. "Right, he's such an expert in this area," I said dryly. Then I bit my lip. This was not the time to start in on Larry's failings. At least he was trying to be helpful. I'm the one who started this mess. Sort of.

Charlie's mouth quirked in a half smile. "Well, Larry was citing from a published work, rather than his own personal experience."

"Oh?" I said. "What kind of work? A psychology text? A women's magazine?" I was genuinely curious now. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted; a little guidance in that area would be welcome.

"Actually, it was a collection of Arthurian folklore," Charlie said.

I blinked.

I must have blinked loudly enough for Charlie to hear, because he laughed. "Yes, that was my reaction to the folklore source. However, Larry reminded me that people weren't stupid back then. And they may even have been in better touch with their own feelings."

He tossed another handful of fish food into the pond. "Which is fairly easy, as far as I'm concerned."

"That's not exactly my forte, either," I confessed. "And girls are supposed to be good at that." I shifted around so I could look at his profile. He has such an expressive face, not actually handsome, but I'd never get tired of looking at it. "So, what did the folklorists have to say?"

"Ah," Charlie said. "Well, the short version is that a knight of the round table took advantage of a lady of the court. There was the usual debate about if he had raped her or if she had led him on."

I nodded. Some things never change.

"Finally, Guinevere decided on a 'trial by ordeal.' She quest, to be exact. She gave the knight one year to find out what it was that women wanted most. If he could come up with an answer that all the women in the court could agree on, from herself down to the kitchen maids…"

"Including the one who was charging him with rape?" I asked.

Charlie nodded. "Even her. If they could all agree that he had the right answer, then he'd be free to go."

"Otherwise," I drew a finger across my throat.

"Exactly."

"I take it he didn't die?"

"Nope, no story in that," Charlie said. "After a year of the usual Arthurian escapades and supernatural intervention, the knight showed up at court and declared that what women wanted most was 'Sovereignty.'"

I had to laugh. "I'd have voted to free him, too," I said.

Charlie grinned. Then he turned serious again and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Amita… I don't…"

"Want me to go?"

"I don't want you to leave," he said. He paused. "I guess that's splitting hairs."

I nodded. I thought I understood his point. He didn't want to hold be back, but he didn't want me a continent away. Some of the tension in my gut eased up on that. "But I get your point, I think." I took a deep breath. "I don't want to lose you."

He shot me a grateful look. "Yes, that's what I wanted to say. I don't want to lose you. But I'm not sure what to do at this point. I didn't act when I had the chance."

"I'm the one who said I wanted to focus on my studies," I pointed out.

"I still could have…" he made a vague gesture with both hands. Then he sighed. "I feel as if I try to make up ground now, that I… I'd drive you away."

I had an image of Charlie with a stranglehold on me. That sort of clinginess probably would drive me away. It wouldn't do Charlie any good either.

"This Harvard job is a great opportunity for you," Charlie said. "But if I advise you to take it, I don't want you to think that means I want you to leave. If I ask you not to take it, then I'm being selfish again. And I don't want you to think I don't want you to succeed." He sighed. "There is, however, another choice. Maybe."

I sat up straight and clasped my arms around my knees. Could Charlie the genius actually help me solve this?

"As Don likes to remind me on a daily basis, I get offers to do guest lectures from various universities," Charlie continued. "Plus, you know I do consulting work for various government agencies and private companies… many of which are on the east coast."

He wrapped his arms around his knees, unconsciously mimicking me. "On top of everything else, I am due for a sabbatical."

"Overdue, Professor Workaholic," I said, nudging his arm.

He grinned and nudged me back. He looked at me. "But I don't want to crowd you," he said. "I want you to understand that I … I love you."

Oh. My.

"So, I thought I'd take the knight's advice. I'll give you the choice of whether I go to the east coast. If I go, when I go and for how long I go."

I stared at him and he began to blush.

"Charlie, that is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me," I replied. "If I take the Harvard offer, I will most certainly expect you to come out as often as you can."

We were silent until we finished off the bowl of fish food. Then I added. "Right now, I can't think of what the best course is. But I think, between the two of us, that we ought to be able to work out some sort of schedule."

He beamed at me, stood up and held his hands out. "Thank you," he said.

I took his hands and let him pull me to my feet. "It's the least I can do for the man I love," I replied.

His eyes went wide, but I didn't give him a chance to answer because what this woman wanted right then was a kiss.


End file.
